There is a folk saying: “When a child learns to lie, he has an independent personality.”

From a psychological perspective, lying is closely related to children’s cognitive development. According to Piaget’s theory of cognitive development, children begin to have egocentric thinking in the preoperational stage (2-7 years old), but what they say at this time is often not lying in the true sense, but come from imagination or misunderstanding. The real conscious concealment or distortion of facts means that the child’s cognitive ability has developed to the point where they can distinguish between truth and falsehood. Lying requires children to have certain thinking abilities, such as constructing a story that is different from the facts, considering the possibility of being exposed, and thus covering up the truth, which shows the progress of the brain in processing complex information, logical reasoning, and imagination, and is a manifestation of cognitive flexibility.

At the same time, lying is also closely related to the development of self – awareness. Learning to lie means that children’s self – awareness is enhanced. They begin to realize that they are independent individuals with their own thoughts, desires, and needs. From Erikson’s theory of psychosocial development, in the early school – age period (3 – 6 years old), children are in the stage of autonomy vs. shame, and they begin to explore their independence. Lying can be seen as a manifestation of this exploratory behavior, and children try to influence the surrounding environment and others’ views of them through their own ways (even if it is an inappropriate way).

In terms of social interaction, children’s learning to lie also reflects their preliminary understanding of social rules and others’ expectations. They know that some behaviors may be punished or criticized, so they lie to avoid negative consequences. In addition, lying may also be a behavior that children imitate from the people around them. If they see parents or other adults sometimes tell some “white lies” or lie for some purpose, they will imitate this behavior and think that it is an acceptable social strategy.

However, we cannot simply equate learning to lie with having an independent personality. Independent personality is a more complex and comprehensive concept, including independent thinking, autonomous decision – making, and being responsible for one’s own behavior. Lying may just be a behavioral deviation in the child’s growth process. For example, children may lie because they are afraid of punishment, which is not based on their mature moral concepts and independent value judgments. They may not have formed correct values and moral concepts, but just lie out of instinct or short – term interests.

From a cultural perspective, cross – cultural studies have shown that in collectivist cultures (such as East Asia), the average age of children’s first lying behavior is 6 – 8 months later than that in individualist cultures. This shows that the expression of independent personality is strongly influenced by social expectations, and we cannot simply use lying as a universal indicator.

When children start to lie, parents and educators should give correct guidance. This can be regarded as an educational opportunity to help children establish correct moral concepts and values. We can use storytelling, role – playing and other ways to let children understand the importance of honesty and the bad consequences of lying. At the same time, we should also pay attention to the reasons behind children’s lying. If it is because they are afraid of punishment, parents can adjust their educational methods appropriately, let children grow up in a relaxed and understanding environment, and encourage them to admit their mistakes instead of lying to escape responsibility, which will help children form an independent and healthy personality.

We need to analyze the relationship between lying, cognitive development, and independent personality from multiple angles, and give correct guidance in the process of children’s growth, help them establish correct values and moral concepts, and promote the healthy development of their independent personality.